I was very sure, when pregnant that i would have a son. somehow thats the one thing i was sure of. So sure that when my Dr delivered my baby and told me it was a girl, i was in shock and asked her, "Are you sure?"
hee
a few months later and i'm glad i have a girl. sure I probably would have been glad if it was a boy too... but i'm glad my first is a girl.
K& I always thought our kid would be brash, bold, curious and reckless... my daughter could be all of those or none of those. she is curious... at her six week appt she kept scowling all around her like she was pissed that she was at the Drs and not in her cosy home bassinet. (she was just sleep deprived). everyone commented on how alert she was, how strong her neck muscles were and the way she kept looking around like as if she was trying to absorb everything. Some of her personality is starting to shine through and she is a bit timid i think. new experiences frighten her unless she's safely in my arms. does it make me feel important, needed and loved. YES! do i wish she was a bit more brave, maybe yes. perhaps time will change that. perhaps its just her 4 month stranger anxiety. but i feel something... something that i did not expect to feel. i feel that if anyone commented negatively on her, i'd give them a swift kick or probably hit them with a saucepan or probably scowl and walk away from them. No one is allowed to say anything about her, not even K. its strange this feeling where you think they must be protected at all costs even yourself if need be. Even protected from well meaning grandparents and husbands ... i mean husband :D and friends.
having a baby makes you realize how much you deplore the stupidity of other ppl who just dont have enough common sense to know whats best for your and all babies. everyone loves to give advice... start solids, start formula, sleep train, dont sleep train, let her play by herself, try a pacifier,... ALL RIGHT ppl. CALM the eff DOWN. sometimes i just want to vent on how hard it is without all the advice . and it IS hard. but i dont need BS advice that makes it easy for me and hard for her. Me and her, we'll figure it out. she'll learn on how to deal with an imperfect mum and i'll learn on how to deal with a brand new baby.
whatever you say, i get to make the choice on whats best for her. and if that means i dont teach her how to take bottle until she's six months old or how to use a pacifier , well then great. its MY problem that i dont get enough sleep or its hard. i should know its hard, but that doesnt mean i want to take shortcuts. i knew it was bloody hard when i signed up for this. she's being perfect when she wants to feed every 3 hours or be held or doing anything even if its simply staring at the wall and pooping all day. so i dont want to introduce any random imperfections that i need to correct for later on.. but nuf said.
having a daughter makes you look at the world a bit differently. maybe its the same for a son... i dont know. i'm more sensitive to sexist BS. don't get me wrong... i was a born feminist. when i got my ..you know monthtly stuff i was majorly pissed that my brother would not have to deal with it. and insisted that he do too.. i was a feminist when i was in primary school and insisted that the world was majorly skewed and unfair against girls and women. why the heck should i learn dancing while he got piano lessons. darn it i was more interested in piano than him anyways... but now some of the things i've made peace with or accepted are no longer good enough. who the heck is Dora and why should i buy Dora crib bumpers. why only pink even if its my favorite shade. why.. why... so many why's and i'm sure it gets worse as she gets older.
you would think we are in the 21st century , but i was doubtful when my mom asked me why my daughter was not fairer and to apply something or eat something to make her fair. what the... she is fair enough thank you very much. she is chubby enough thank you very much and she does not need external intervention to make her ....anything else than what she is. i would respectfully ( or not ), ask you to change yourself and your entire belief system before you come in front of her.
I dont care that you asked me to follow arcane and silly customs. i would do it, since it does not inconvenience me too much. But if you expect that i will wait for an entire year to pass before i give her rice, just because her naming ceremony is not completed and that naming ceremony can only be done by one person in one place in one country of the world.... then i'll call you out and say you are nuts. Do i care if you are my elder, my in law, my parent, my husband? i don't think so. she gets her food when she needs it period. she gets her nutrition when she needs it period.
SO , having a daughter.... a baby changes us. hopefully for the better. hopefully makes us re-look at everything we do and say and think about our lives. and i wonder where this road is leading and where i'll find myself in a couple of years from now.
until the next nap ....
toodles.
hee
a few months later and i'm glad i have a girl. sure I probably would have been glad if it was a boy too... but i'm glad my first is a girl.
K& I always thought our kid would be brash, bold, curious and reckless... my daughter could be all of those or none of those. she is curious... at her six week appt she kept scowling all around her like she was pissed that she was at the Drs and not in her cosy home bassinet. (she was just sleep deprived). everyone commented on how alert she was, how strong her neck muscles were and the way she kept looking around like as if she was trying to absorb everything. Some of her personality is starting to shine through and she is a bit timid i think. new experiences frighten her unless she's safely in my arms. does it make me feel important, needed and loved. YES! do i wish she was a bit more brave, maybe yes. perhaps time will change that. perhaps its just her 4 month stranger anxiety. but i feel something... something that i did not expect to feel. i feel that if anyone commented negatively on her, i'd give them a swift kick or probably hit them with a saucepan or probably scowl and walk away from them. No one is allowed to say anything about her, not even K. its strange this feeling where you think they must be protected at all costs even yourself if need be. Even protected from well meaning grandparents and husbands ... i mean husband :D and friends.
having a baby makes you realize how much you deplore the stupidity of other ppl who just dont have enough common sense to know whats best for your and all babies. everyone loves to give advice... start solids, start formula, sleep train, dont sleep train, let her play by herself, try a pacifier,... ALL RIGHT ppl. CALM the eff DOWN. sometimes i just want to vent on how hard it is without all the advice . and it IS hard. but i dont need BS advice that makes it easy for me and hard for her. Me and her, we'll figure it out. she'll learn on how to deal with an imperfect mum and i'll learn on how to deal with a brand new baby.
whatever you say, i get to make the choice on whats best for her. and if that means i dont teach her how to take bottle until she's six months old or how to use a pacifier , well then great. its MY problem that i dont get enough sleep or its hard. i should know its hard, but that doesnt mean i want to take shortcuts. i knew it was bloody hard when i signed up for this. she's being perfect when she wants to feed every 3 hours or be held or doing anything even if its simply staring at the wall and pooping all day. so i dont want to introduce any random imperfections that i need to correct for later on.. but nuf said.
having a daughter makes you look at the world a bit differently. maybe its the same for a son... i dont know. i'm more sensitive to sexist BS. don't get me wrong... i was a born feminist. when i got my ..you know monthtly stuff i was majorly pissed that my brother would not have to deal with it. and insisted that he do too.. i was a feminist when i was in primary school and insisted that the world was majorly skewed and unfair against girls and women. why the heck should i learn dancing while he got piano lessons. darn it i was more interested in piano than him anyways... but now some of the things i've made peace with or accepted are no longer good enough. who the heck is Dora and why should i buy Dora crib bumpers. why only pink even if its my favorite shade. why.. why... so many why's and i'm sure it gets worse as she gets older.
you would think we are in the 21st century , but i was doubtful when my mom asked me why my daughter was not fairer and to apply something or eat something to make her fair. what the... she is fair enough thank you very much. she is chubby enough thank you very much and she does not need external intervention to make her ....anything else than what she is. i would respectfully ( or not ), ask you to change yourself and your entire belief system before you come in front of her.
I dont care that you asked me to follow arcane and silly customs. i would do it, since it does not inconvenience me too much. But if you expect that i will wait for an entire year to pass before i give her rice, just because her naming ceremony is not completed and that naming ceremony can only be done by one person in one place in one country of the world.... then i'll call you out and say you are nuts. Do i care if you are my elder, my in law, my parent, my husband? i don't think so. she gets her food when she needs it period. she gets her nutrition when she needs it period.
SO , having a daughter.... a baby changes us. hopefully for the better. hopefully makes us re-look at everything we do and say and think about our lives. and i wonder where this road is leading and where i'll find myself in a couple of years from now.
until the next nap ....
toodles.
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